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Justina
- Feb 9
- 2 min
We Cherished 2020
While 2020 brought challenges and unprecedented times, it was was not “the worst year” for our family. We each have our own journey. For us, 2019 became the year that held the toughest, worst, and best moments of our lives after losing our firstborn, 3 NICU stays, bringing our second son home, and all of the events in between. Child loss and trauma have painted us a much different view on life. Each day is filled with a mix of joy and grief and each day we learn to appreciate
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Justina
- Feb 3
- 1 min
Dear NICU Mama
Dear NICU Mama, You can be so grateful for what you have in front of you and still grieve what could have been. It's okay to find gratitude for the child in your arms while grieving the one in your heart. It’s okay to be thankful for your living child’s milestones and grieve the milestones you will not experience with your child who isn’t physically here. There are times you may feel torn between being grateful and wondering about all of the could-have-beens. Give yourself gr
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Justina
- Apr 16, 2020
- 2 min
11 "Bonus" Weeks With You
We knew you were going to come early, just like your brother did, but we didn't know how early. At 29 weeks and 3 days, you made your debut into the world. Your father and I were terrified of losing you too. When you came home at 36 weeks gestational age, it was so surreal - to bring our son home and to have 11 "bonus" weeks with you. As NICU parents it's hard not to look back, not to have guilt, not to think of the fears, not to miss the opportunity of having a full-term pre
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Justina
- Apr 1, 2020
- 2 min
It's Okay to Need Boundaries, Mama
After three NICU stays, becoming a mom twice in one year, the trauma of losing one child, 80 days on bed rest, all the emotions of bringing our second son home, and everything in between… I've struggled with figuring out my new life and finding my new self. My new self after loss, as a mom and a parent after loss all while dealing with postpartum depression, PTSD, and learning how grief and joy can co-exist. Slowly I began noticing a change. New thoughts and feelings that wer
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Justina
- Mar 25, 2020
- 3 min
In the Mind of a NICU Parent
The full range of thoughts and emotions in the mind of a NICU parent is incredibly hard to describe. When your child is in the NICU you wonder if you're alone in the feelings that engulf your heart and your head. After three NICU stays in one year, we've watched our boys fight for their lives, we’ve lost, and we’ve brought home a miracle. I am frequently asked what our experience was like and so I want to share with you the a glimpse into the range of emotions we went through
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Justina
- Feb 18, 2020
- 4 min
When Pregnancy Isn't What Society Has Taught Us It Would Be
We have a picture in our minds of what pregnancy and the birth experience is like. I envisioned being tired, maybe sick, the excitement, being frustrated of feeling "so big" and of course, swollen ankles. Then at around 40 weeks, your water breaks and you rush to the hospital with your perfectly organized overnight bag. Family arrives with anticipation and hearts filled with joy. Your precious baby arrives and is loved on by family and friends in the hospital. Then there is r
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In honor of Carter